


A Fire Burns Inside

by Anonymous



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, Family Dynamics, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Violence, Wilbur Soot-centric, Wilbur is honestly trying his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28124757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Wilbur gets into a fight and things spiral from there.
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 10
Kudos: 250
Collections: Anonymous





	A Fire Burns Inside

If he was to be completely honest, Wilbur would say that he hadn't meant to get into a fight. It's just a blur of insults that had hit too close to home, recklessly thrown punches, and suddenly he's sat in the uncomfortable office chairs while he waits for someone to come pick him up. His knuckles are raw and coated with dried blood, so he figures that he had at least gotten a few good hits in before the teacher separated them. He ignores the awfully misplaced pride he feels from it and instead focuses on how a large bruise tainted the skin of his forehead. Maybe if he stares at it long enough it'll fade away and his reflection would be like that of this morning- before he decided to fuck up the one good thing he had in his life.

He doesn't feel the regret until the moment Phil walks through the door with a look Wilbur had never seen before. They lock eyes for a second and he can almost see the anger radiating off the man. 

Wilbur's never seen Phil angry before.

It's a thought that haunts him on the drive home up until they walk through the door of the house. He had finally gone too far, he realizes, as he picks at the dried blood on his hands. The home that was usually full of laughter and some of the nicest memories that Wilbur had ever had was dreadfully quiet. Not even Tommy was making noise from upstairs. He wonders if Phil had told them. Maybe they shared the same sort of disappointment as Phil. He doesn't really understand why, it was only a matter of time before he fucked up as poorly as he did. Phil knew what he had signed up for when he looked at Wilbur's case and decided to take him into his house anyways- he was practically known for being a problem. Wilbur glances up from his fists, a hot sorta shame filling in him. He feels sorry for not messing up sooner. He should've never let himself become comfortable. 

Wilbur's on edge. The adrenaline that once coursed through his blood had died down, leaving him with a dull ache in his chest and the pain that he had yet to process. An annoyance begins to build inside of him, he loathed the awkward silence they were in. He almost wants to shout- maybe he'll start the fight because he just wants something more than whatever the fuck  _ this  _ is. He knows he's messed up properly, they both do, so why is Phil dragging it out? Why won't he just yell? Tell him he's fucked up? Maybe bruise him up a little more, it's not like he doesn't deserve it. Wilbur's feeling antsy, waiting for Phil to ask him to get his things so he can get kicked out and back into the system. It's funny, he had only unpacked all of his belongings about a week ago. It's a shame he'll have to find everything again. 

"Can I see your hands?" it's a question that startles Wilbur, who had just gotten used to the awful quiet. Phil's voice is as caring and as gentle as always, and he probably would've trusted it had it been any other day. Wilbur chooses to ignore the saddened tone he had when he carefully gives Phil his hands for him to wash away the blood. It stings, of course it does, but he holds his breath and waits for it to pass. He wishes Phil didn't care this much, especially when he was only going to end up sending him back. Why won't he just get on with it? He feels Phil's eyes on him but he doesn't dare look up, eyes trained on the now clean knuckles. 

"Can you tell me what happened?" his voice is strained, probably to keep Wilbur from noticing just how angry he is. It makes Wilbur want to cry. He had angered the one person he thought genuinely cared about him. He thought he at least owed the man the story. So he tells him about the kids in his year, about how they've been bullying Tommy. Wilbur couldn't just let it happen, as much as Tommy tried to tell him that he had it under control. He just hadn't expected them to be as strong as they were. It's a half-truth. He had technically fought to protect Tommy, but it wasn't all of why he ended up with bruised ribs and a throbbing pain in his head. He didn't tell Phil about the fire that had been burning his insides, about how it never seemed to go away. He felt as though he was always one second away from exploding and hurting someone. The fight was an easy excuse, maybe he'd even be seen heroic instead of the destructive child he's always been. 

He's taken out of his thoughts by a cold hand on top of his own. He looks up to meet the face of Phil, his expression is sincere and sympathetic. 

"I'm proud of you, Wil. I don't condone violence often but I think you taught those boys a lesson they needed to learn," he lets out a laugh after saying it. 

_ What?  _

"Fucking- stop!" Wilbur yells out, jerking his hand away from Phil's. The fire was back and more fierce than ever. It's running through his body and he  _ hates  _ it. 

"What?" Phil sounds confused, his eyes soften at the sight of Wilbur. Wilbur hates having to explain himself, especially when it's so obvious to him. 

He misses feeling normal, he misses being a child and he misses his fucking  _ mom.  _

"Stop acting like I'm a good fucking person already! I beat those kids, Phil! I broke someone's nose-" 

"Wilbur-" Phil tries to cut him off.

"I fucking awful! I'm an awful, awful person. Just punish me already, please- just get on with it," he's shaking now, he can't tell if it's from fear or rage. Phil reaches out to grab his shoulders to try and steady him but he struggles out of his grasp. 

"I don't care. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care," Wilbur repeats the phrase over and over again as if it's a mantra. Neither of them notice the front door open and close. 

"Calm down," Phil tries to comfort. 

"Stop fucking coddling me! You can yell at me, I deserve it," he screams. 

"I'm not coddling you-" Phil says, heightening his voice. 

"I don't care! I fucking hate you anyways."

_ I'm scared you're going to leave too.  _

"You don't mean that," Phil tries again, tone full of honey and promises Wilbur can't believe.

"Yes I do! You're not my dad. You're  _ nothing  _ like my real dad. Stop acting like we're related just because you signed some fucking papers,"

_ I don't deserve a dad like you. _

"Wilbur that's enough," Phil says, looking at something behind Wilbur. 

"Shut up! Why the hell do you think I got into a fight in the first place? You actually think I did it because of Tommy? I hate you guys, I hoped this would make you  guys send me back for Christ's sake!" 

Phil's silent after that, his features hardened. Wilbur can't tell how he's feeling. He had lied, none of it had been true but it felt so good to let everything out, to make someone hurt the same way he had been hurt. What is wrong with him? The silence gives him enough time to realize the weight of everything he's said. If they weren't going to send him back before, they definitely are going to now. 

Tommy walks by him in a rush, Wilbur swears he sees tears on his face. Wilbur had never seen him cry. 

He realizes his outburst had been terribly out of place. They didn't deserve that, nor did they deserve to have to put up with a kid like him. He regrets speaking as soon as he finishes. He shouldn't have said that. 

Not with Tommy in the house. He shouldn't be worried about his older brother by everything by blood because he can't handle his own emotions. He's supposed to be there to protect Tommy and offer him guidance- not the other way around. He should be out being happy, making memories with someone far more stable than him. Wilbur's grown to hate the way he can almost  _ see  _ the way Tommy's bright personality seemed to dim whenever Wilbur spoke. He was supposed to be the one to keep him beaming.

Not with Phil in front of him. The man had offered him nothing but support within their entire time of knowing each other. He had been so lucky that Phil wanted him, that he took him in despite his past. Now he can almost feel the disappointment bouncing off the deafening silence in the house. Now Phil knows that Wilbur was off way worse for him to save. He never took any of his advice, he couldn't find it in him to try anymore. He wondered if Phil could ever be proud of him again. 

He wants to apologize, he really does, but he doesn't even know where to start. He doesn't get to chance to try before Phil speaks up.

"Go to your room," his voice is restrained and his expression pinched. The words come out soft with a sad sort of quiet.

"I-" he tries to talk.

"Go to your room." He says again. Voice barely louder but Wilbur can tell he isn't meant to talk back to him right now. 

So he walks, his movement careful as his head's still throbbing and his bones are aching. There's a burning in his chest, though he chooses to ignore it. The fire had done too much damage already. He passes by Tommy's door, and he stops to listen to what he was doing. He wished he could just walk in there and apologize but he's pretty sure Tommy doesn't want to see him right now. Not after what he said. The walk to his room is as quiet as the room itself. It finally dawns on Wilbur that this would probably be his last night in this house. The same house that had provided him with an amount of comfort he wasn't even sure if someone like him deserved. 

The bag he's had through all his foster homes stays packed with all his belongings in the corner, waiting for tomorrow. 

Wilbur just hopes his new home would be as kind as this.

**Author's Note:**

> ahh sorry this is vv angsty- I've just been feeling awful lately bahha. I'm planning on making a second chapter that'll be shorter than this so maybe happy ending pog!


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